Payton Clifford
I'm a first year Psychology with Criminology student who is not athletically inclined in the slightest (I just pretend to be.) Literature and writing have always been significant parts of who I am; from critically analysing Bronte (and falling for Heathcliff) to experimenting with the dark works of Edgar Allan Poe. I guess I choose poetry to be my way of expressing the many thoughts and emotions that kindly spin round my head at 4am. If I've learnt anything from this poem, it's that you should never take anything for granted, and that women will never not suffer, but they will love more and that's why they carry on.
Each snowflake was a sigh heard by an aggrieved woman somewhere in the world. All the sighs drifted up the sky, gathered into clouds, then broke into tiny pieces that fell silently on the people below. As a reminder of how women suffer.
- Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns
Asleep
I shall not wake you
You’ll like it much more where you are
Are you happy?
Happy to be lying on a grassy hill side
Side of the Newquay sea
Sea whose waves greet you home
Home is that beach where Anna’s ashes were scattered
Scattered seashells and seaweed the sea has gifted
Gifted with a mint choc chip ice cream in your hand
Hand which re-adjusts your sunglasses on your face
Face titled back to drink in the beating rays of the sun
Sun winning the race as the clouds try and chase it
It’s a lightness in your chest, a throbbing in your heart
Heart like yours mirrors the grassy hill side
Side that the sea beats and hauls at time after time
Time to check the damage and scar tissue
Tissue here and tissue there to wipe the sand away
Away you go in your dream
Dream and dream mom, you are peaceful
Peaceful enough so that the chemo won’t hurt you
You stay resting and I’ll make sure your head stays warm
Warm, golden sun with dancing strands of grass as thin as needles
Needles and bruises in your hands, arms, chest, breast
Breast cancer was quite a shock wasn’t it mom?
Mom enjoy your dream, as soon you must wake
Wake up to take the steroids, or is it the anti-sickness first?
First-born child duties, I now take care of you
You are the world to me, so for you I will remain strong
Strong and courageous, so I can be half the woman you are
Are you sure you don’t want any water? Doctors orders you must drink
Drink in that summer heat, smile and breathe out
Out of consciousness for as long as you can be mom
Mom I’ve prepared your injection, I’ll try not to hurt you this time
Time to have a blood test, a scan, an appointment, a few tablets, a talk
Talk to me about your wonderful dream if you must
Must wake from paradise, but I’m here mom
Mom I’m here
Here I am, and by your side
- Payton Clifford