How does a snowman lose weight? He stands by a radiator.
Where do snowmen go to dance? The snowball.
How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh after delivering all the Christmas presents? Using a bottle of Santa-tizer!
Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? Because he has private ‘elf care.
What’s Santa’s favourite sport? North Pole vaulting.
What do recovering chocoholics have around Christmas time? Cold Turkey.
I spent three days trying to write a Machine Learning algorithm to predict health status based on my activity. It just responded with a simple message: "Try drinking less black tea and moving more than 100 steps per hour!"
How did Mary and Joseph know how much Jesus weighed when he was born? Because they had a weigh-in a manger.
Snowmen hate warm-ups but love frost-intervals.
What game do reindeer play in their stalls? Stable tennis.
Why did Santa start doing HIIT workouts? Because he wanted to Sleigh at the office Christmas party.
Did you hear what happened to the Vice Chancellor when he was flexing his muscles helping to put up the Christmas lights on his local curry house? Last I heard he fell from the ladder, and he's been in a korma ever since.
Who are never hungry at Christmas? Turkeys - because they’re always stuffed!
Why did the dentist bring weighing scales to the Christmas party? Because he wanted to see who was "tooth-ally" committed to their weight loss goals!
Why are footballers and basketballers the worst Christmas dinner guests? They always dribble.
What do you call a snowman who loves doing planks in the garden? Core Frost!
If athletes get athletes foot what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
Why did the elf start doing weight training at his work Christmas party? Because he wanted to lift spirits.
How does Mrs. Claus stay fit during the festive season? She does “elf-sized Snacktivities.”
What is a snowman’s favourite exercise? Brrrrr-pees.
Why did Santa’s dentist rush to the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because Santa yelled, “I’m stuck!” and the dentist replied, “Don’t worry, Santa… this looks like a case of too many fillings.”
Why did the Christmas tree walk to the doctor? It was feeling a little pine in the neck.
Elf tip of the day: A quick 2-5 minute activity snack counts as ‘elf-care.’
Why was Bob Marley's Christmas workout so popular? Because everyone was "Jamming" to the reggae blues and wanted to "Get up, Stand up."
How does Santa keep his energy up during December? He takes sleigh-breaks: 2-5 minutes of Snacktivity every hour!
Why did the Christmas tree in the Vice Chancellors’ office start doing leg squats three times a day? To get tree-mendously strong.
Why did Santa walk an extra lap around the north pole? He heard it was good for his elf-esteem.
Why did Rudolph start his ironman training three months before Christmas? To get his cardio glowing bright.
The midwife encouraged the pregnant woman to stay active during Christmas. So she did: she sprinted away from any relative who started a sentence with, “Should you really be eating that?”
Why did the gingerbread man go on a diet after the Christmas holidays? He was feeling crumb-y about his weight.