Loughborough University
Leicestershire, UK
LE11 3TU
+44 (0)1509 263171
Loughborough University

Counselling and Disability Service

Domestic abuse in relationships

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What is Domestic abuse?

If your partner hurts you, shouts at you, puts you down, humiliates, criticises and scares you then this is 'Domestic abuse' and you do not have to put up with it. There are several sources of help for you.

The abuser could be a partner, ex partner or someone in your family. Domestic abuse is usually reported as being men hurting women but men can be victims too. According to the Office for National Statistics, in 2013/14, 8.5% of women and 4.5% of men have experienced domestic abuse, equivalent to an estimated 1.4 million female victims and 700,000 male victims. Many more incidents will have gone unreported. It can affect anyone regardless of age, class, race, sexuality, disability or social background. It is rarely an one-off event and often gets more severe and more frequent over time.

One in four women and one in six men suffer Domestic abuse at some time in their lives. Domestic abuse accounts for 25% of reported violent crime and the vast majority of incidents are witnessed by children. This is damaging to them too.

The abuser may use psychological manipulation to blame the victim eg. "If you were not so useless/selfish/frigid/poisonous etc. then I wouldn't need to do this. You made me like this ...". DO NOT FEEL GUILTY OR BLAME YOURSELF. It is not your fault. It is the abuser's responsibility to control their behaviour.

The abuser may seem remorseful afterwards and promise it will never happen again. They are unlikely to succeed unless they make specific changes in their lives through attending an anger management course/counselling or psychotherapy/alcohol withdrawal programme etc. They will need to address the power and control issues that are so difficult for them. Some resources are listed in 'help for the abuser'.

Most people keep it a secret for too long - do not be ashamed as you are not at fault.
If you are being threatened or abused, then help is available locally and nationally.

Developing a Crisis Plan

1.You may decide to leave home. Try to make an action plan.
2.Always carry a list of numbers you can call in an emergency.
3.Try and save money for a taxi, train or bus fare.
4.Have an extra set of keys cut for the house or car.
5.Keep keys, money and a set of clothes and any medication for yourself or children to hand, in case you have to leave in a hurry.
6.Take legal and financial papers: Benefit and Rent books, National Insurance Number, medical, marriage and birth certificates, passports, bank book and your address book. You may also want to take personal photos.
7.Have a safe address to go to.
8.If necessary a Police Officer can return to the house with you later.
9.If possible, leave when the abuser is not around.

Supporting Agencies

If you are unsure about what to do there are a very wide range of support agencies available for you. You may be clear that you want to leave immediately and want to sort out finance, accommodation etc. You may be unsure and want to explore family issues, possible resources for your partner etc. The services listed in this section are all available to help you in many different ways.

Leicester Domestic Abuse Helpline 0300 303 1844
 
Trained volunteers offer a wide range of advice on housing, benefits, legal rights and many other issues. All calls are treated in a confidential and non-judgemental manner.

Victim Support Scheme 0808 16 89 111 
 
VSS offers a confidential service and emotional support to victims of crime. You can telephone and ask to speak to a volunteer trained to help you with Domestic abuse issues, whether you are a female or male victim.

The Police 0116 222 2222 (Loughborough)

The Police take all reports of Domestic abuse seriously. They will do all they can to help you.
Police policy states that the alleged offender will be arrested if an offence is committed which carries the power of arrest, provided that you, as the victim, indicate that you wish to complain.

For information, contact Loughborough Police who have a Victim Liaison Officer who you can talk to on an informal and confidential basis.

In an emergency dial 999 and ask for the police.

Womens Aid provides:

Refuge: Safe, emergency temporary accommodation for women and children who need protection from violence. They also support male victims of domestic abuse.

Confidential Information: Emotional and practical support for women and families whether or not they are ready/able to leave their abusive partner. Information on benefits, housing, legal procedures etc.
Other Services:

- Personal panic alarm systems for women and families living in their own homes
- Photographs of injuries caused by Domestic abuse. These will be taken by trained female workers

Women's Aid also offers information on other support services such as welfare benefits
Outreach and support:
0300 303 1844 - National Helpline

Health

Should you suffer injury it is important to be seen by your GP as soon as possible. Your Health Visitor can also offer support and advice.

Rape Crisis Centre - Leicester 0116 255 8852 (Tues-Fri 10am - 4.00pm, Wed 6.30pm - 9.00pm) based at Juniper Lodge General Hospital.

Rape Crisis can counsel you if you have been affected in any way by sexual abuse whether in the past or present. All contact is confidential. The telephone number is constantly staffed, if you receive no reply be prepared to keep ringing.

Housing - Charnwood Borough Council (01509) 634567
Should you flee, or be thrown out of your home and are homeless as the result of Domestic abuse, the council may be able to assist with temporary accommodation and can offer advice regarding your housing options.

Welfare Benefits (Jobcentre Plus)
One of the many reasons you may stay in abusive relationships is because of a fear of lack of money. If you leave you may be entitled to Income Support or other benefits.
For information telephone (01509) 831000

Social Services Department (01509) 266641
The Social Services can offer advice about steps you can take to protect yourself if you are in a violent home situation. They can advise about child care issues but will not get involved in custody disputes. They can also advise about welfare benefits. They can advise you if you are an adult or a young person, a person with physical or learning disabilities, mental ill health or an elderly person.

Telephone from 8.30am - 5pm (4pm Fridays) or visit the office at Pennine House, Lemyngton Street, Loughborough.

Outside office hours telephone the emergency duty team on (0116) 255 1606. An operator will pass on your message to the duty social worker who will contact you

Other Useful Contacts:
LADV (Project for Violent Men) (0116) 255 0003
Leicester Counselling Centre (0116) 255 8801
Leicester Domestic abuse Helpline (0116) 255 0003
Relate (0116) 254 3011
Samaritans 116 123
Quetzal Project - for survivors of sexual abuse (0116) 253 3383
Turning Point - drug & alcohol use/misuse (01509) 611111
information and support

Loughborough University Resources

Loughborough University Resources for Staff
 

Counselling (01509) 222148

Loughborough University Staff can have up to six sessions of counselling at the Counselling Service. We can give confidential counselling support. E-mail - ucs@lboro.ac.uk.

Human Resources

You can consult one of the personnel advisers:
Joanne Arno (J.M.Arno@lboro.ac.uk) (01509) 228022
Anne Lamb (A.E.P.Lamb@lboro.ac.uk) (01509) 222168

Loughborough University Resources for Students

If you are a victim of Domestic abuse whilst a student at LU, you can use any of the local and national services already listed. In addition, there are university student support services which will also be valuable:

Harassment Panel (01509) 222169

If your abuser is another member of the university then this panel can help. There is a 24 hour answering machine. Help is given by a panel of trained volunteers. They can give advice and support. If you want to make a formal complaint they can also support you in this but this is only if you choose to.

Counselling Service 01509 222148

For counselling support and advice for yourself. We can also support you if you have witnessed Domestic abuse at home and are worried about other members of your family.
If you feel that the stress of witnessing violence has affected your emotional relationships, it may be helpful to explore this in counselling too.

Mental Health Support Team (01509) 228338

For support and practical advice

Student Advice (Students Union) 01509 635072

For practical advice including complaints and accommodation and finance 

Hall Warden/Accommodation Office (see directory)

For help in moving accommodation

Security 01509 222141

For support and advice on safety

Help for the Abuser

It takes courage for the abuser to acknowledge that they have a problem. The following agencies can help:

APAS 0115 8240 550
Alcohol counselling and support

Turning Point (01509) 611111
Drug and alcohol use/misuse. Information and support

Counselling Services - as before

Useful Websites

news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_4790000/newsid_4796200/4796293.stm

(useful pages written for children if there is Domestic abuse in their family)

https://www.gov.uk/domestic-violence-and-abuse

 

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Contact Us

Counselling Service

01509 222148

Application Form

Need help now?

Contact when the Counselling Service is closed:

Loughborough Nightline

01509 227650

EVERY Monday, Wednesday & Friday during University Term Time - 20.00hrs - 08.00hrs

NHS Direct

111

Samaritans

Confidential support, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year

116 123

Leicestershire Focusline

24 hour support service for people & carers experiencing mental distress

0800 027 2127

Leicester Royal Infirmary (LRI)

Nearest A&E for urgent medical and psychiatric help

Call 999 if you have a genuine emergency